Do You Ever Feel You May Be Losing Your Mind?
One moment you are calm and normal. The next moment you’re sobbing at the grocery store. Because you were reminded about something they would buy. Other symptoms could be brain fog, outbursts, memory loss, numbness.
It’s scary. Overwhelming and terrifying.
But the truth is, you aren’t going crazy. You are grieving.
Grief Hijacks Your Brain
What actually happens inside your brain?
When someone you love dies, your brain goes into survival mode. The amygdala - the brain’s alarm system - goes on high alert. Your prefrontal cortex (which helps with logic, planning and decision-making) takes a back seat. (https://www.americanbrainfoundation.org/how-tragedy-affects-the-brain/)
That’s why you forget why you walked into a room, why simple tasks seem exhausting, and why your emotions seem out of control.
Here’s what grief may look like.
Sudden emotional outbursts
Feeling numb or disconnected
Trouble sleeping or eating
Memory lapses or confusion
Physical pain or tiredness
These expressions of grief are all normal. They are the way the body and brain process deep emotional loss.
You Are Not Unique in This - Others Feel This Too
Maybe you’ve said things like:
“I think I’m losing it.”
“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
“Everyone else seems to be doing better than me.”
You are echoing the voice of millions of people walking the same road. I’ve heard these kinds of comments from widows, parents who have lost a child. Even pastors and counselors can be faced by these things. Grief can make you feel like a stranger to yourself.
All this means is that you are human. You haven’t lost it.
Grief is not a problem to be fixed - it is a wound that needs tending.
Grief Is Not a Mental Illness - But It Can Feel Like One.
Grief can mimic conditions like anxiety, depression, or even PTSD. You may experience racing thoughts, panic attacks, hopelessness, trouble concentrating, or mood swings. (https://www.taps.org/articles/29-3/you-are-not-crazy-you-are-grieving).
But grief itself is not a disorder. Grief is a natural and appropriate way to react to loss. Mental health professionals say these symptoms often improve over time, especially if you have support.
Important Tip: If your symptoms persist beyond several months or begin to interfere with daily life, consider reaching out to a grief counselor. Help is available, and there is no shame in getting it.
When God Feels Far Away
For many Christians, grief can shake your faith. You may feel God is distant, silent, or even absent.
You may ask: “Why did this happen?”, “Why didn’t God heal them?”
Having these questions doesn’t mean you have lost your faith, they are not a betrayal of your relationship with God.
They just mean you are hurting and you don’t understand. God is not afraid of questions.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18).
“Hear my prayer, O LORD, Give ear to my supplications! In Your faithfulness answer me, And in Your righteousness.” (Psalm 143:1).
Even though we may not feel close to God, or feel His presence, He is still there.
In a very hard time in my life, the troubles we were going through made it seem as though God wasn’t listening, and as though I was on my own. But by turning to Him, and going back to “the first works” (Revelation 2:5), I reestablished my foundation and regained closeness with Him. In my weakness, God was able to do amazing things.
The point is, He never left me. My feelings were not a very reliable indicator of His presence. He promised “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5).
How to Steady Yourself During the Chaos
You can’t “fix” grief. But there are actions you can take to steady yourself:
Breathe. Take five slow, deep breaths when you feel anxious.
Write. Journaling helps to release chaotic thoughts.
Pray. Turn to God. Even a short breath prayer like “Lord, please help me,” will help.
Talk. Share your feelings with someone safe. You don’t have to carry this on your own.
Rest. Grief is exhausting - give yourself permission to take a break. Do something different. Get out of the house.
Exercise. Go for a short walk. Just a little exercise causes the brain to release endorphins, which make you feel more positive. (https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/exercise-and-stress/art-20044469)
Let Go of the Myth That You Should Be “Over It”
If someone tells you, you should move on, or just be strong, don’t accept that for yourself. Just smile politely and go speak to someone else.
There is no timeline for grief. There is no formula for healing. Each person’s journey is different.
Grief is a messy, tangled mess of emotions, which gradually modify over time. It’s like walking along a tortuous path in a dark forest. As you continue walking, you progress ever closer to the clarity and sunshine at the edge of the forest. It gets better.
Give yourself time. Give yourself grace.
Grief is personal. You get to feel what you feel. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or apology.
A Final Word
It’s not crazy to wonder about if you are going crazy. The emotions and turmoil you are experiencing can be huge.
But this is for a season. You will find that over time, your emotions and feelings will stabilize. There has been a profound change in your life - what you are experiencing is your body and mind adjusting to this new reality.
You need support along this journey.
Find someone you feel comfortable with, who will listen to you, without judging. Or join a grief group. Some churches have grief groups available, there are also online groups. Consider trying this out. If your experience with one group didn’t work out, try another.
I have posted a number of blog posts about grief on our website, and will continue to do so! Here is the link: CLICK HERE.
I hope this post has helped you!
Sincerely,
Gerry van der Wende
www.advancelifetransformation.com
Here’s what grief may look like.
Sudden emotional outbursts
Feeling numb or disconnected
Trouble sleeping or eating
Memory lapses or confusion
Physical pain or tiredness
“I think I’m losing it.”
“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
“Everyone else seems to be doing better than me.”
Important Tip: If your symptoms persist beyond several months or begin to interfere with daily life, consider reaching out to a grief counselor. Help is available, and there is no shame in getting it.
“Hear my prayer, O LORD, Give ear to my supplications! In Your faithfulness answer me, And in Your righteousness.” (Psalm 143:1).
Breathe. Take five slow, deep breaths when you feel anxious.
Write. Journaling helps to release chaotic thoughts.
Pray. Turn to God. Even a short breath prayer like “Lord, please help me,” will help.
Talk. Share your feelings with someone safe. You don’t have to carry this on your own.
Rest. Grief is exhausting - give yourself permission to take a break. Do something different. Get out of the house.
Exercise. Go for a short walk. Just a little exercise causes the brain to release endorphins, which make you feel more positive. (https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/exercise-and-stress/art-20044469)
