When loss hits, especially the loss of your husband, it can feel like God has moved away. Like He's packed up His bags, dimmed the lights, and left you in a dark room. The silence may be deafening. The ache consumes you. God seems distant, perhaps even absent.
But it's in these very moments of deepest pain, when you feel most exposed and vulnerable, that God can often draw incredibly near. Not always in the way you expect, or with a clear, audible voice, but in quiet, profound ways that reshape your understanding of His presence.
Think about it. When life is smooth, when everything is going well, it’s easy to just cruise along. We can rely on our own strength, our own plans, our own understanding. Our faith can become a comfortable routine, a pleasant addition to an already good life. But when the rug is pulled out from under us, when our world crumbles, all those familiar supports disappear. Suddenly you are left with a need, a hole you cannot fill.
And that need is where God meets you.
It's in the quiet spaces, after the initial shock has settled down a little, that you begin to notice Him. Perhaps it’s a flicker of peace in the midst of turmoil. An unexpected kindness from a stranger. A particular verse from Scripture that speaks directly to your heart, as if written just for you, at that very moment. Or maybe it’s just the quiet realization that you are managing to stay upright and that Someone is sustaining you.
Grief is messy. It's a long, winding road with unexpected turns. But God is there along that road, even when your vision is blurred by tears. He doesn't move away. He doesn't abandon you. Instead, He often uses the very discomfort of your pain to draw you into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him than you might have ever known before.
It’s like being refined in fire. The heat is intense, the process is agonizing. But what emerges is something stronger, more pure. Your faith, stretched and tested, can become more robust, more real. You learn to rely on Him in ways you never needed to before. You experience His comfort not as something theoretical, but as a living, breathing reality in your darkest hours.
You might feel a desperate yearning for His presence. A hunger you didn't know you had. This desire, born out of your pain, is a pathway. It’s an invitation to lean in to God, even when that may feel like the hardest thing you could imagine.
So, how do you find this deeper connection when your heart is aching and your mind is clouded by sorrow?
Here are some practical steps you can take, even when it feels like too much:
Speak to Him: Just talk. Don't worry about saying it just right. Tell Him what you feel. Tell Him you're angry, sad, lost. Tell Him you miss your husband. Tell Him you don't understand. He can handle it. He longs to hear from you.
Open His Word: Pick up your Bible. Start with the Psalms (many of which express profound sorrow and longing for God.) Even if you only read a few verses, allow the words to sink in. Don't try hard to understand perfectly, simply receive.
Listen to Christian Music: Find songs that speak of God's comfort and faithfulness. Let the melodies and lyrics minister to your spirit when your own prayers feel stuck.
Find a Quiet Space: Even five minutes in a quiet room, focusing on your breathing and simply acknowledging God's presence, can make a difference. Simple awareness.
Connect with a Trusted Believer: Share your heart with a Christian friend, pastor, or mentor who understands grief. Allow them to pray for you and remind you of God's truth. Sometimes, God's presence is most tangible through the love of His people.
Notice the Small Things: Look for tiny signs of His care. A beautiful sunrise. A comforting phone call. A favorite hymn playing at just the right moment.
Serve Someone Else (When You're Ready): Even a small act of kindness for another person can shift your focus and open a pathway for God's grace to flow through you.
You can’t deal with your grief by willpower. You walk through it, day by day, moment by moment, with God right beside you. He is not distant. He is not indifferent. He is the God who collects your tears, who understands your pain, and who promises to be near the brokenhearted.
The tears will still come. The pain will still linger. But beneath it all, you may find a deeper connection to the One who loves you more than you can imagine. A connection forged in the fires of loss, stronger and more real than before. And that, my friends, is a profound discovery in the midst of your most challenging season.
My prayer is that you will find connection with the Lord “Who comforts us in all our troubles”, and receive His peace in this time of grieving.
Sincerely
Gerry van der Wende
Advance Life Transformation
www.advancelifetransformation.com
P.S. As always, please send us a short email if you need prayer or would like us to call you. We will respond within 24 hours.
